Saturday, March 13, 2010

So Sue Me!


I’ve been dealing with roommates since the age of 18. TCU freshman year my roomie would leave her used maxi pads exposed on her bed… I changed roommates at semester. Sophomore year at U of Iowa one of my three roommates accused me of pulling a gun on her… I’ve yet to see this alleged firearm. Senior year of college one of my roommates returned from summer as a completely different person… I’ve not talked to her since the day we moved out. And my last roommate… she took me to court last week… I now live alone!

Lois moved into my apartment last August. I met her through a friend. I didn’t know too much about her, but she was better than getting a complete stranger off Craigs List. Lois didn’t have a fulltime job. Having been laid off once I was very understanding and collected rent and bills around the time I knew she would be getting her unemployment check. After living with her for about 3 weeks… I realized this arrangement was not working.

Living with Louis I felt like I was in a relationship.

“Can you take the trash out?” “Can you buy toilet paper?” “Can you straighten your shoes by the door?” “Can you move your flat iron?” “Can you call the super to change the light bulb?” “Can you fix the toilet?” “Can I give you the money for the cable next week?” “Speaking of cable, can we get HBO?”… all of this would be said within 2 min of me walking into MY apartment after working a 12 hour day! And the nerve to want to pay extra for HBO… when in that same sentence she asked if her portion of the bill could be late!

Things hit the fan when she sent me an email while I was work and attached a picture of 1 blue cup that was left in the sink. “Can you not leave dishes in the sink. I am tired of cleaning up after you.” I went SMOOTH off! Did she really feel the need to interrupt my day over 1 cup! You would think I cooked a spaghetti dinner and made some Rice Krispi Treats, leaving 20 crusty dishes in the sink!

Not to mention she was cheap. This girl had the nerve to take my Bath & Body Works shower gel to refill the dish soap dispenser! WHO DOES THAT? Take yourself to the corner store and buy some… it’s $1. I had to bring my own toilet paper into the bathroom for fear I would get a yeast infection from that 20 cent construction paper she was wiping with.

Lois would come home at 5am after a night out… every night… and be loud for no reason! Cooking, and banging on household items trying to “fix” them with a hammer. IT WAS TIME FOR HER TO GO!

I never put Lois on the lease… didn’t make her sign a sublease contract with me. She was on her honor month to month to pay her rent… and was free to leave anytime.

Christmas come early on Nov 2nd when I received an email where Lois stated she would be moving out Dec 1st and would give me rent and utilities for the month of December. She had already paid me for Nov rent. (keep this in mind as you continue reading)

December 1st finally came! Lois gave me a check for $800 and turned over the keys. I quickly locked the door behind her. “Free at last, Free at last!”

While out for my birthday on December 8th, I received a message from Lois on my Black Berry. “Happy Birthday Jessica! I hope you are having a good one! I just realized I gave you money for December rent. Since I did not live at your place during the month of December, I would like for you to write me a check for the amount of $800 this week. Sorry for the inconvenience. Have a great day!”

She done lost her mind!

1. That was not your typical “birthday” message. 2. She sent it on December 8th! Sorry boo, but rent is due on the 1st “wake up, wake up, wake up!”

I shot her back a quick response. “I don’t have your money. I used it on the rent. I don’t have $800 just sitting around. I will not be writing you a check.

We went back and forth for 2 days.

Early January I received a subpoena to report to small claims court. I was being sued for “failure to return a security deposit.” This was crazy...she never gave me a security deposit. I only charged her first months rent. I was furious!

Court day finally rolled around. Not only was I annoyed that I was there, but she took me to court in Harlem. Don’t get me wrong I LOVE my people… but a courthouse full of us and my Latin brothers and sisters… FOOLERY! And this wasn’t just any court… Lois took me to night court!

In small claims court you have the option for your case to be tried in front of a judge or a mediator. If you go in front of the mediator all decisions are final. If you pick the judge, you have the option to appeal the verdict. Being that Lois was suing me, she got to choose who we saw. She picked the judge.

There is no place to go while you wait to see the judge… so everyone stays in the courtroom while trials are going on. I couldn’t believe that half of Harlem was about to see my act as my own attorney. After 4.5 hours of hearing about domestic disputes, food poisoning at restaurants, and slumlords… the bailiff called me and Lois outside.

Bailiff “The judge won’t be able to hear your case tonight. You will have to come back”

Me “Are you serious… I’ve been here since 5:30! It is now 10pm!”

Bailiff “We are open every Thursday. You two must agree on a day to come back.”

Lois “I can come back in 2 weeks”

Me (throwing on my snobby voice) “Well, I can’t come until next month.” (Honestly, I was not letting her pick the date… she was the one wasting my time… after all… I am the one with the job and I’m not letting anyone run me.)

March 5th I met Lois for round two. This time we went to trial.

The judge asked Lois to state her side of the case. I felt really bad. Since the last time we were in court… her mother had passed away. She could barely articulate her points and had a “moral support” person whispering in her ear what to say.

Lois “Your honor I lived with Jessica from August 2009-December 1st. I forgot that I wrote her a check for August rent. I only intended on paying for the months that I stayed. It was an oversight on my behalf. When I realized what I had done, I asked her for December rent back and she would not give it to me. This is why we are here.”

Judge “So you paid August, September, October, November, and December. Totaling 5 months of rent…. But you only lived there for 4 months? Why did you pay December if you did not live there?

Louis “I was in a rush and didn’t realize what I was doing. I was rushing to be with my sick mother who recently passed so I just wrote the rent check out of habit.”

Judge “Ms. Wilson. Do you have anything to say to that?”

Me “Yes, your honor.” (I was about to get my Gabrielle Union in “Daddy’s Little Girls” on) Lois claims that she left my residence in a rush and wrote a check out of habit? I have an email from her dated Nov 2nd where she informed me that she would be leaving December 1st and would give me rent and utilities for that month.”

Judge “This was after she paid you November rent?”

Me “Correct your honor. This is after she paid November rent”

Judge “Was she on your lease?”

Me “No, she was not on the lease. I am the only person on the lease. I had a roommate move out in August and I decided to stay and took over the lease. This is when Lois moved in. She was on an honor system to pay rent each month which she did. I only charged her rent and half of the utilities… which are cable/internet and electric. I never asked for a security deposit which is what she is suing me for.”

Lois “That is the best way to put it….”

Me “She premeditated writing that check your honor. I would like to submit her email as evidence. How does one put in writing a month prior that they are going to do something? She paid me. Then asked for the money back claiming that it was an accident. She knew she paid me in August… how else would rent have gotten paid? This was not an oversight.

Judge “Do you recognize this email Ms. Wilson is holding?”

Lois “Yes, I have a copy of it right here.”

Judge “Ms. Wilson, please read the email out loud. Will the court note this is as evidence A.”

Me “Gladly! This is dated Nov 2nd 2009. “Hi Jessica. This is notice that I will be moving out Dec. 1st and will give you December rent and utilities for December prior to moving out. Thank you”

Judge “Why did you not move out before December 1st?”

Lois “My new place was not ready until the 1st”

It was interesting the judge asked that. In doing my research for court I read that if you stay for even one day of the next month… you owe for that entire month.

Judge “So, you want December rent refunded to you…. even though you wrote that you would pay it?”

Lois “It was a mistake.”

Me (getting a little crunk) “And why should I pay for your mistake? Your honor, as a grown woman it is my responsibility to keep track of my bank account. I have the check I wrote to the landlord on December 2nd that has the same date marked on the deposit slip. The money was used on the rent.”

Judge (looks at Lois) “Do you have anything else to say?”

Lois “I have a written statement from my current roommate say that I did move in with her on December 1st”

(What that had to do with anything… who knows. We both agreed she move out on the 1st)

Judge “Ms. Wilson, do you have anymore questions for Ms. Counts?”

Me “No…not other than why am I here” (I had to get one smart comment in)

The judge asked Lois a few more questions and then turned to both of us and said:

Judge “You will receive my verdict in the mail”

WHAT??????? When has Mathis, Judy, or Joe Brown ever said that on TV?

I thanked the judge and turned to Lois. I wanted to say something about her mother… this was one of the first times in my life I didn’t know what to say. She wouldn’t look at me. I walked out.

A week later I received my verdict in the mail. There was no explanation. All it said was: “Judgment in favor of Defendant, dismissing claim. No monetary award.”