Disclaimer: I don’t proof my blogs. It’s 4am so I’m half sleep listening to the soothing sounds of the Goo Goo Dolls. This entry is going to have more mistakes than usual… but you’ll get the point lol
2 weeks before sophomore year I announced that I would not be returning to Texas Christian University. I HATED that place. Well, not so much the school… just some of the closed minded confederate flag waving students.
Dad “So what… you want to take a semester off? Just as long as you graduate on time.”
Me “I came into college as a second semester freshman… I can take a semester to apply for schools and still be on track.”
When I say I have great parents… I mean it. I had a full ride scholarship that I lost when I transferred schools and my folks paid out of pocket for my education so that I would not have student loans. I have the best dad in the world too. A few days later we drove down to Texas to grab my stuff and say goodbye to some of my friends. We did this without stopping at a hotel. OH SO TIRED! (I know you think I’m a spoiled brat… eh… TRUST living in New York has most definitely broke me of that!!!)
While gasing up, a car came and some scum bag yelled out to my dad:
“Why you around here nigger!” (they sped off)
Dad “YO MAMMA!!”
I was appalled! Not so much at what was said to dad (that’s typical small town Texas) but at his response. Dad is the KING at comebacks and jokes! Did he really just say…. “YO MAMMA!!!!????!!!” That didn’t even make sense! I dropped it. Dad grew up in Oklahoma during the Civil Right Movement… so I knew this was a sensitive issue.
The next morning after we got back to Iowa my mom woke me up at 6am. She threw a suit on my bed and told me to get dressed. Anyone who knows me will tell you… a suit… NOT MY THING!
Me “Are you serious? Where am I going?”
Mom “To Iowa City. You will not be sitting around this house for a semester. We are driving up to the University of Iowa and you are going to use that gift of gab to talk yourself into school and we will not leave until you have registered for classes.”
Me “Semester starts in 2 weeks… I’m kind of past the deadline……”
Mom “Get dressed. Or would you like to go to Iowa State instead?”
Me “I’ll take U of I for 500 please.”
By 4pm that afternoon I had registered for classes. Now to find someplace to live. This late in the game finding housing was going to be a beast.
One of mom’s co-workers had a friend whose daughter needed a 4th girl for their condo. I moved in.
There we were…. 4 girls in a 2 bedroom 1 bath. Sharing a room and sleeping in a twin bed was not my idea of comfort… but sometimes you have to take what you can get. Seeing that my boyfriend at the time lived in Des Moines… I was rarely there anyway. Until we broke up a few weeks later LOL.
One day after class Richelle and I were on my couch eating fish sticks and grill cheese (oh college!) when I decided to call my boyfriend. His brother picked up. And clearly he did not catch my voice.
Me “Hey, put AC on the phone”
Brother “On second Becca”
Me “HOLD UP! EXCUSE ME?????”
Brother “Oh Shit! This is Jessica?”
He hangs up the phone. I call back. The girlfriend to this fool who just said the wrong name answered. The two of us hated each other so we got to arguing. Richelle just sat there looking at me. She (like most people) is used to seeing me all extra goofy… we had been friends since 8th grade and this was probably the first time she saw me PISSED to the 10th power.
Me “We are going to Des Moines NOW! Grab the Vaseline and some bail money cause there is gonna be some fightin!”
Richelle did everything she could to try to calm me down. After many phone calls being placed between me, my boyfriend, brothers girl, boyfriends mamma…. I was going to Des Moines.
Richelle’s car was in the shop. Mine was at my parents…. so we took my roommates beat up 1984 Chrysler. I was driving so fast I hit a raccoon on the way. It usually takes about 1 hour and 45 min…. I would not be surprised if I did it in an hour.
Well… AC played it smart and was at some concert that night. I sat out front like a crazy woman for a while until I realized I was too fly to be doing that shit… so we just ended up spending the night at a friends house. AC called around 2 am… the argument was emotionally draining and I did not even want to see him after all that. Like most guys would say “Becca” was just some chick who called all the time… but I was not dealing with it. He tried to spin it by saying that he knew guys were trying to get at me at school… and that I was openly flirting when he came to visit me the week before with someone at a party… whatever dude!
Starting the semester off broken hearted was horrible… but Richelle was with me through the whole thing. We baked a lot of cakes, ate rolls of cookie dough, and I threw down my specialty every night…. homemade Rice Krispi Treats!
One of my roommates was getting played too. Her boyfriend moved in and was living in our living room. He did not pay rent, but loved to eat our food and act like he was running things. One day I was in the shower and he had the nerve to knock on the door and yell at me.
Mike “HURRY UP! I need to get in there! I’m trying to go out for drinks!”
Me “You need to go out for some damn rent money! And while you out get some damn toilet paper!” (Richelle basically lived with us too… but no one minded her being there because she contributed financially to the house… something this negro needed to learn to do.)
Mike “I’m not PLAYING! GET OUT!” (I turned off the water and threw on my towel)
Me “I know you are not trying to rush me out of the shower. Until you put in on the water bill… I WILL TAKE MY TIME!”
The two of us then got to pushing each other in and out of the bathroom.
Me “Act like you are going to put your hands on me and I’ll have half the football team over here in that ass! Think you cute with your giant gap… and on top of that got the nerve to be snaggle toothed!"
Mike stormed out the house. The next day he got what was coming to him. While he was in the shower his girl Hannah (one of the roommates) was going through his wallet and she found a condom. Now Hannah was this painfully skinny, overly tanned, skunk streaked hair chick… her attitude was not to be played with.
Hannah (storming into the bathroom) “MIKE! WTF is this!”
Mike “uh…. A condom….”
Hannah “Why do you have it?”
Mike “For protection…..”
Hannah “WE DON’T USE PROTECTION!”
Richelle and I BUSTED out laughing. One because they bedroom business was just exposed…. and two… Mike was caught!
Richelle (starts singing Boys II Men) “Don’t have to stay with someone… that makes you cry”
Me “Makes you cryyyyy! You’ll end up killing all the love you have inside…”
Hannah “GET YO SHIT AND GET OUT!” (I was TOO happy to hear those words… this called for another song… this time “Leave” by that teenage brown haired chick Jojo)
Me (singing) “Get out, right now, It’s the end of you and meeeeee”
Richelle (singing) “It’s too late, and I can’t wait for you to be goneeeee”
We were on a roll with this. Mike entered the room fresh from the shower and he was too mad and trying to explain himself to Hannah.
Me “How about you just pack up your belongings!” (I was sooo tired of this dude freeloading off of us!)
By that night… the two of them had made up. Looked like I was going to have to deal with Mike for a little while longer.
Well… one of our other roommates (Kristi) was a pathological liar. The two of us bumped heads all the time. Shit hit the fan when she told her father I pulled a gun on her. GIRL, BYE! That was the last draw!!!!!!! I terminated my lease. Where that even came from I had no idea… seeing that a few hours earlier the two of us had went to the gym together. She was on that “To Kill a Mocking Bird” BS. I was not risking being locked up over her foolery! I packed all my stuff and loaded up my truck that night. I moved in with Richelle… what I should have done in the first place!
First semester sophomore year… it did not get anymore dramatic than that! …. Actually… it did. You know I’ll blog about it later… JR year is when this crazy clingy lesbian chick transferred to our school… and she used to just show up to the apartment with an overnight bag demanding to spend the night….. one of my roommates let her in one night and I woke up to her rubbing my leg. DO YALL SEE WHY I HAVE ISSUES!!!!!!! FOOLISHNESS!
2 weeks before sophomore year I announced that I would not be returning to Texas Christian University. I HATED that place. Well, not so much the school… just some of the closed minded confederate flag waving students.
Dad “So what… you want to take a semester off? Just as long as you graduate on time.”
Me “I came into college as a second semester freshman… I can take a semester to apply for schools and still be on track.”
When I say I have great parents… I mean it. I had a full ride scholarship that I lost when I transferred schools and my folks paid out of pocket for my education so that I would not have student loans. I have the best dad in the world too. A few days later we drove down to Texas to grab my stuff and say goodbye to some of my friends. We did this without stopping at a hotel. OH SO TIRED! (I know you think I’m a spoiled brat… eh… TRUST living in New York has most definitely broke me of that!!!)
While gasing up, a car came and some scum bag yelled out to my dad:
“Why you around here nigger!” (they sped off)
Dad “YO MAMMA!!”
I was appalled! Not so much at what was said to dad (that’s typical small town Texas) but at his response. Dad is the KING at comebacks and jokes! Did he really just say…. “YO MAMMA!!!!????!!!” That didn’t even make sense! I dropped it. Dad grew up in Oklahoma during the Civil Right Movement… so I knew this was a sensitive issue.
The next morning after we got back to Iowa my mom woke me up at 6am. She threw a suit on my bed and told me to get dressed. Anyone who knows me will tell you… a suit… NOT MY THING!
Me “Are you serious? Where am I going?”
Mom “To Iowa City. You will not be sitting around this house for a semester. We are driving up to the University of Iowa and you are going to use that gift of gab to talk yourself into school and we will not leave until you have registered for classes.”
Me “Semester starts in 2 weeks… I’m kind of past the deadline……”
Mom “Get dressed. Or would you like to go to Iowa State instead?”
Me “I’ll take U of I for 500 please.”
By 4pm that afternoon I had registered for classes. Now to find someplace to live. This late in the game finding housing was going to be a beast.
One of mom’s co-workers had a friend whose daughter needed a 4th girl for their condo. I moved in.
There we were…. 4 girls in a 2 bedroom 1 bath. Sharing a room and sleeping in a twin bed was not my idea of comfort… but sometimes you have to take what you can get. Seeing that my boyfriend at the time lived in Des Moines… I was rarely there anyway. Until we broke up a few weeks later LOL.
One day after class Richelle and I were on my couch eating fish sticks and grill cheese (oh college!) when I decided to call my boyfriend. His brother picked up. And clearly he did not catch my voice.
Me “Hey, put AC on the phone”
Brother “On second Becca”
Me “HOLD UP! EXCUSE ME?????”
Brother “Oh Shit! This is Jessica?”
He hangs up the phone. I call back. The girlfriend to this fool who just said the wrong name answered. The two of us hated each other so we got to arguing. Richelle just sat there looking at me. She (like most people) is used to seeing me all extra goofy… we had been friends since 8th grade and this was probably the first time she saw me PISSED to the 10th power.
Me “We are going to Des Moines NOW! Grab the Vaseline and some bail money cause there is gonna be some fightin!”
Richelle did everything she could to try to calm me down. After many phone calls being placed between me, my boyfriend, brothers girl, boyfriends mamma…. I was going to Des Moines.
Richelle’s car was in the shop. Mine was at my parents…. so we took my roommates beat up 1984 Chrysler. I was driving so fast I hit a raccoon on the way. It usually takes about 1 hour and 45 min…. I would not be surprised if I did it in an hour.
Well… AC played it smart and was at some concert that night. I sat out front like a crazy woman for a while until I realized I was too fly to be doing that shit… so we just ended up spending the night at a friends house. AC called around 2 am… the argument was emotionally draining and I did not even want to see him after all that. Like most guys would say “Becca” was just some chick who called all the time… but I was not dealing with it. He tried to spin it by saying that he knew guys were trying to get at me at school… and that I was openly flirting when he came to visit me the week before with someone at a party… whatever dude!
Starting the semester off broken hearted was horrible… but Richelle was with me through the whole thing. We baked a lot of cakes, ate rolls of cookie dough, and I threw down my specialty every night…. homemade Rice Krispi Treats!
One of my roommates was getting played too. Her boyfriend moved in and was living in our living room. He did not pay rent, but loved to eat our food and act like he was running things. One day I was in the shower and he had the nerve to knock on the door and yell at me.
Mike “HURRY UP! I need to get in there! I’m trying to go out for drinks!”
Me “You need to go out for some damn rent money! And while you out get some damn toilet paper!” (Richelle basically lived with us too… but no one minded her being there because she contributed financially to the house… something this negro needed to learn to do.)
Mike “I’m not PLAYING! GET OUT!” (I turned off the water and threw on my towel)
Me “I know you are not trying to rush me out of the shower. Until you put in on the water bill… I WILL TAKE MY TIME!”
The two of us then got to pushing each other in and out of the bathroom.
Me “Act like you are going to put your hands on me and I’ll have half the football team over here in that ass! Think you cute with your giant gap… and on top of that got the nerve to be snaggle toothed!"
Mike stormed out the house. The next day he got what was coming to him. While he was in the shower his girl Hannah (one of the roommates) was going through his wallet and she found a condom. Now Hannah was this painfully skinny, overly tanned, skunk streaked hair chick… her attitude was not to be played with.
Hannah (storming into the bathroom) “MIKE! WTF is this!”
Mike “uh…. A condom….”
Hannah “Why do you have it?”
Mike “For protection…..”
Hannah “WE DON’T USE PROTECTION!”
Richelle and I BUSTED out laughing. One because they bedroom business was just exposed…. and two… Mike was caught!
Richelle (starts singing Boys II Men) “Don’t have to stay with someone… that makes you cry”
Me “Makes you cryyyyy! You’ll end up killing all the love you have inside…”
Hannah “GET YO SHIT AND GET OUT!” (I was TOO happy to hear those words… this called for another song… this time “Leave” by that teenage brown haired chick Jojo)
Me (singing) “Get out, right now, It’s the end of you and meeeeee”
Richelle (singing) “It’s too late, and I can’t wait for you to be goneeeee”
We were on a roll with this. Mike entered the room fresh from the shower and he was too mad and trying to explain himself to Hannah.
Me “How about you just pack up your belongings!” (I was sooo tired of this dude freeloading off of us!)
By that night… the two of them had made up. Looked like I was going to have to deal with Mike for a little while longer.
Well… one of our other roommates (Kristi) was a pathological liar. The two of us bumped heads all the time. Shit hit the fan when she told her father I pulled a gun on her. GIRL, BYE! That was the last draw!!!!!!! I terminated my lease. Where that even came from I had no idea… seeing that a few hours earlier the two of us had went to the gym together. She was on that “To Kill a Mocking Bird” BS. I was not risking being locked up over her foolery! I packed all my stuff and loaded up my truck that night. I moved in with Richelle… what I should have done in the first place!
First semester sophomore year… it did not get anymore dramatic than that! …. Actually… it did. You know I’ll blog about it later… JR year is when this crazy clingy lesbian chick transferred to our school… and she used to just show up to the apartment with an overnight bag demanding to spend the night….. one of my roommates let her in one night and I woke up to her rubbing my leg. DO YALL SEE WHY I HAVE ISSUES!!!!!!! FOOLISHNESS!
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