I’ve been trying to think of a story I could post just so I could use the above picture of Beyonce. Since I don’t have any personal funny flight stories… my brother, Justin, is going to have to take one for the team. I love you, but I’m going to have to write about this one cause it is forever funny to me.
The night before moving to New York my family along with my god family went to Texas Road House in Chicago for a farewell dinner. The next day was Christmas morning and me, my dad, and my brother spent it up chucking our meal…. Food poisoning is the worst!
Why did I move on Christmas? According to my father this is the cheapest day to fly because no one wants to fly on such a holiday. So there I was… I had to pack my life into 5 small boxes. "5 boxes and a dream" (that’s what my E True Hollywood story will be called LOL).
My mom felt fine (either her stomach is tough or she didn't eat what we had)… but the three of us were still VERY sick. Flying while food poisoned… this was not going to be good. I sat next to my dad on the flight and across the isle sat my brother and mom. My head was between my knees most of the ride as I blasted "Warrior" by Nas in my ipod. Next thing I hear is my mom and my brother.
Mom “JUSTIN! GET UP!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Justin “I’m sorry, I’m Sorry!!!!!!!”
This man straight up threw up all over himself projectile style. He and mom ran to the bathroom. OMG! Justin comes back to his seat… with just his boxers. Mom had his pants in a plastic bag that she threw away when we arrived.
Usually dad and I would have had mad jokes, but we were too sick to even care.
Justin “Mom, this is embarrassing… you don’t have any pants in a carry on?”
Mom “No, Justin. Eveything is checked. Don’t be embarrassed. When you get off this plane you remember one thing… You are a Wilson and we always hold our head up high. Never show defeat. Pants or no pants.”
I could not believe this “we are down by 20 in the first half locker room coach to the point guard pep talk” my mom was having with my brother. Funny, but I still could not laugh.
About an hour later we arrived in JFK Airport in NYC. My brother got off the plane wearing nothing but his boxers, a South Pole T-shirt, sky blue Tims, and a fitted. But maaaaaaaaaaannnn was that head held high as EVERYONE starred at him! I walked a good 50 paces behind….. my parents tried to cover him. Mom walked in back and my dad walked in front like this negro was the president and they were his secret service. Nothing like a 5 ft 10 220lb solid built black man walking through an airport as if he meant to step out in his undies. I admire bro’s swagga!
I think the funniest part was Justin standing all impatiently at baggage claim and then tearing through the suitcase once it came around.
The fam went straight to the hotel and went to bed. My first night in the city and I was too sick to even go exploring. The next morning when I woke up I looked across the room at my brother who was sitting on the couch. My dad walked in our room… and the two of us BUSTED OUT LAUGHING!!!!!!!
Me “Yo, Sorry Justin but you are going to get it today cause I was too gone to even laugh!”
Justin “IT’S OVER!”
Me “Ohhhhhh nooooo it’s not!!!!!!!!”
Remember that song T-shirt and my panties on? Well I had to do the remix!
Me (singing) “I’ve got my South Pole and my Boxers onnnnnnnn…. South Pole and my Boxers onnnnnnnnnn” (I’m doing my version of the dutty whind while singing)
Dad “BABABABAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”
Me “Dad, did mom really give him that game time talk on the plane?”
Dad “Did he really throw up on himself and then walk through the airport with no pants on?”
Justin could not help but to laugh too… it was funny! I then busted out in James Brown’s classic song “Hot Pants”
Mom (laughing) “Jessica, this is how I know you were sick… you couldn’t wait to feel better to bust out this comedy routine!”
Me “Better HIM throwing up and having to walk off the plane in his boxers…. Cause if it were me… it would have been an entirely different situation!”
Dad “We aren’t even going to discuss that one”
The night before moving to New York my family along with my god family went to Texas Road House in Chicago for a farewell dinner. The next day was Christmas morning and me, my dad, and my brother spent it up chucking our meal…. Food poisoning is the worst!
Why did I move on Christmas? According to my father this is the cheapest day to fly because no one wants to fly on such a holiday. So there I was… I had to pack my life into 5 small boxes. "5 boxes and a dream" (that’s what my E True Hollywood story will be called LOL).
My mom felt fine (either her stomach is tough or she didn't eat what we had)… but the three of us were still VERY sick. Flying while food poisoned… this was not going to be good. I sat next to my dad on the flight and across the isle sat my brother and mom. My head was between my knees most of the ride as I blasted "Warrior" by Nas in my ipod. Next thing I hear is my mom and my brother.
Mom “JUSTIN! GET UP!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Justin “I’m sorry, I’m Sorry!!!!!!!”
This man straight up threw up all over himself projectile style. He and mom ran to the bathroom. OMG! Justin comes back to his seat… with just his boxers. Mom had his pants in a plastic bag that she threw away when we arrived.
Usually dad and I would have had mad jokes, but we were too sick to even care.
Justin “Mom, this is embarrassing… you don’t have any pants in a carry on?”
Mom “No, Justin. Eveything is checked. Don’t be embarrassed. When you get off this plane you remember one thing… You are a Wilson and we always hold our head up high. Never show defeat. Pants or no pants.”
I could not believe this “we are down by 20 in the first half locker room coach to the point guard pep talk” my mom was having with my brother. Funny, but I still could not laugh.
About an hour later we arrived in JFK Airport in NYC. My brother got off the plane wearing nothing but his boxers, a South Pole T-shirt, sky blue Tims, and a fitted. But maaaaaaaaaaannnn was that head held high as EVERYONE starred at him! I walked a good 50 paces behind….. my parents tried to cover him. Mom walked in back and my dad walked in front like this negro was the president and they were his secret service. Nothing like a 5 ft 10 220lb solid built black man walking through an airport as if he meant to step out in his undies. I admire bro’s swagga!
I think the funniest part was Justin standing all impatiently at baggage claim and then tearing through the suitcase once it came around.
The fam went straight to the hotel and went to bed. My first night in the city and I was too sick to even go exploring. The next morning when I woke up I looked across the room at my brother who was sitting on the couch. My dad walked in our room… and the two of us BUSTED OUT LAUGHING!!!!!!!
Me “Yo, Sorry Justin but you are going to get it today cause I was too gone to even laugh!”
Justin “IT’S OVER!”
Me “Ohhhhhh nooooo it’s not!!!!!!!!”
Remember that song T-shirt and my panties on? Well I had to do the remix!
Me (singing) “I’ve got my South Pole and my Boxers onnnnnnnn…. South Pole and my Boxers onnnnnnnnnn” (I’m doing my version of the dutty whind while singing)
Dad “BABABABAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”
Me “Dad, did mom really give him that game time talk on the plane?”
Dad “Did he really throw up on himself and then walk through the airport with no pants on?”
Justin could not help but to laugh too… it was funny! I then busted out in James Brown’s classic song “Hot Pants”
Mom (laughing) “Jessica, this is how I know you were sick… you couldn’t wait to feel better to bust out this comedy routine!”
Me “Better HIM throwing up and having to walk off the plane in his boxers…. Cause if it were me… it would have been an entirely different situation!”
Dad “We aren’t even going to discuss that one”
1 comment:
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2. Take a good look at those big items. You probably have one or more pieces of furniture cluttering up your rooms. If you're not using it, someone else can. If you don't know anyone local who needs the item(s), you can ship large items to a friend or relative in another state - or make some money by selling on eBay.
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