Thursday, March 5, 2009

B!@$H Where's my Money?


Last July my friends and I flew to Chicago to attend the National Association of Black Journalist Convention (NABJ). Who would have known this would lead to me being stalked by a cabbie.

To save some money I stayed with my aunt and uncle out in the suburbs. I lived with them for 8 months after graduating college so they along with my cousins were excited to have me back for a few days. My car was over at my grandmothers and did not have the time to get it until later… so I just had someone take me to the train station (or borrowed their car) when I needed to go downtown for seminars.

The 2nd day of the conference I overslept. When I finally woke up the house was empty. I called my aunt.

Me “Hey, where did yall go?”

Aunt “Sherry had a basketball tournament and everyone is here.”

Me “Yall took all three cars for that?”

Aunt “Oops… we did.”

Me “Can someone come scoop me and I drop them back off at the HS?”

Aunt “Well…. The tournament is in Joliet so I don’t think that can happen.”

Me “Okay cool, I’ll just call a cab.”

I got dressed and called a cab. While sitting outside waiting for it I noticed a white 1995 Oldsmobile Cutlass circling the neighborhood. About the 5th time around I realized…. this was the cab. WOW. Brotha man was using his own car as a cab service.

Me “HEY STOP THE CAR!!!!!!!!!”

Cabbie “My bad baby, I was confused by the street numbers.”

Me “That’s okay, can you just get me to the metra station… and fast.”

Cabbie “I don’t know the neighborhood… where is the metra station?”

Me “How are you a cab driver and don’t know where important locations are? You are lucky I used to live here and know…. What if I didn’t… this would be a HUGE problem!”

He begins to drive as I directed every left and right he needed to take.

Cabbie “You are cute.”
Me “Thanks”

Cabbie “What are you doing tonight?”

Me “Nothing that requires any of your concern.”

Cabbie “So you from Chicago?”

Me “Long story… would you please pay attention to the road. You ALMOST RAN that light!”

We finally get to the metra station.

Me “Thank you. How much?”

Cabbie “Well shawty since I did not know how to get here…. 10 dollars.”

Me “We didn’t even go 2 miles… whatever here” (I handed him a 20)

Cabbie “You don’t have anything smaller… I aint got no change.”

Me “How are you a cab driver… with no legit cab, no knowledge of the area… and NO CHANGE! Hand that 20 back please.”

I sat in the back and looked at this fool through the mirror.

Me “So what you want to do, cause all I have are 20s?”

Cabbie “Let’s go get change.”

Me “FALSE! My train will be here in 6 min and the next one does not come for an hour. I don’t have time for that. How about you write down your address and I’ll send you a check.”

He actually did this… please…. I’m not sending him shit.

Later that night I was back at my aunt and uncle’s getting ready to go out for the night when my cell rings.

Cabbie “Hey, It’s Leon. I gave you a ride earlier. I’m sitting in the driveway if you want to come out and give me my money. Perhaps I can take you out.” (WTF!)

By this time I had walked upstairs and my dad and uncle were looking at the weird expression on my face.

Me “I’m not home. I’ll get at you later.” I quickly hung up.

Uncle “Who was that?”

Me “That ghetto ass cab service I was telling you about earlier… he was sitting in the drive just now and told me to come out and bring him his money.”

Dad “HELL NAH! How do you get yourself in these situations?”

Me “Blood of my blood, flesh of my flesh! You passed a gene that attracts HOTT MESS!”

3 weeks later I was at work when my phone rang.

Cabbie “Aye, It’s Leon. How are you?”

Me “Leon? Who? I don’t know anyone named Leon.”

Cabbie “I picked you up and took you to the Metra when you were in the Chi.”

Me “The dude with the Cutlass?”

Cabbie “Yes, that would be my cab. I provided you with a service and I have yet to be paid for my service.”

Me “Your service was WHACK!”

Cabbie “Would you please send me a check for the amount of $10. Otherwise I could just go to the house I picked you up from and get it.”

Something about this dude was not right! Plus, I did not want him tormenting my family!

I sent him a money order for $10….please he was not getting my checking account information. I have not heard from him since.

To my NY friends who always laugh at me for making sure the cabs we get in are certified…. this is why.

I never knew $10 was so serious! Moral of the story. Don’t get in a Cutty with a buster named Leon.

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