Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Stuntin Like My Daddy!


Okay. So those of you who kept getting texts and emails about my phone number changing… this is the story.

The only bill my parents were paying was my cell. I appreciated it… but it was time for me to boss up and get off the family plan.

Friday afternoon I went to Verizon on 125th street in Harlem. Kiss FM was doing a remote broadcast from this location as a closing to black history month… the store was packed and CRUNK! Plus, it was raining outside so everyone off the street was now in this little store.

Finally, when it was my turn I told the lady I wanted a new contract and to give me the curve. Because my number was under my parents, I was not authorized to keep it and was told I had to get a new number. I had her call corporate to see if this could be worked around. Mind you… the radio station was bumpin in the background so trying to conduct business was VERY difficult. They would not give me my old number so a NY area code I assumed.

That night I thought about it… I’ve been applying for new jobs and have been freelancing for a few other publications…. I NEEDED my old 312 number.

My parents and I had to three-way Verizon and they told us since the transaction was complete… there was no way to transfer my old number to the new phone. The next day I went back to Verizon to work it out. Sales lady kept telling me she could not do it… then I got an idea.

Me “What if I return the phone, cancel my service, then repurchase it under my old number, and get another contract. Then have you call my parents for permission and then we three-way corporate so we can sign off on the approval.”

I got out of the sales line and went and stood in the customer service line. This was 30 min.

Man “So…. You want to return the phone and buy it again????”

Me “Yes.”

Man “Why……???”

Me “Long story… the clerk gets me… can you just do it.”

Man “I don’t understand.”

Me “JUST RETURN THE PHONE!”

I would not have been this irritated if it was not for the fact I was in there forever the day before and today they were having a buy one Storm Blackberry get one free promotion. I swear all of Harlem was in there buying phones. The store was A MESS!

After the return… I had to get back in line with the sales lady, who was teaching an older Mexican man how to use his phone. THIS TOOK FOREVER!

When it was finally my turn…. Getting my old number was not easy. After many failed attempts…

Sales lady “You are going to have to switch this yourself.”

Me “If you can’t do it and you WORK here… how am I supposed to do it?”

Sales lady “You are going to have to call corporate”

Me “I don’t even have a landline. I am NOT leaving here without a functioning phone.”

Sales lady “Well come back here with me to customer service you can call from there.” (side eye.. forreal?)

Customer service had me on the line forever. I kept getting transferred. Finally someone worked it out. I repurchased the Blackberry curve and had my numbers transferred. I had been in Verizon since 2pm… the time was now 5 and I was on the way out the door when I got a call from my dad.

Dad “Hi Jessica, did you get the phone situation worked out?”

Me “Yes.”

Dad “What phone did you get?”

Me “The curve”

Dad “They have a deal buy one Storm get one free.”

Me “I don’t have the money for the storm and it’s not like I have someone to activate for the second storm.”

Dad “I want the Storm.”

Me “So what are you saying…….”

Dad “Go buy the Storm.”

Me (almost in tears because I had been in there for so long and he knew I was there) “YOU MEAN YOU WANT ME TO GO RETURN THIS PHONE AND GO THROUGH ALL THAT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS!”

Dad “Calm down. Let me upgrade you!”

Me (wildin out) “YOU have NO idea what I have been through with Verizon today dad. I can’t do it again! That store is packed and then I have to have them switch all my info again!”

Dad “I don’t see why this is a big deal.”

Me “Because I am out the door!”

Dad “Just get the storm, I’ll help you pay for the phone itself…. then mail me the other one.”

So there you have it. I went back in line to return the phone. Because this was my second time returning a phone… they had to call corporate to wave the $35 stock charge for exchanging. THIS TOOK FOREVER!

At 6pm I left feeling horrible. I am not a tech person… I felt like that scene in the Sex and the City movie when Samantha handed Carrie the Iphone to use to call Mr. Big on the wedding day. I DID NOT KNOW HOW TO USE THIS DAMN TOUCH DIAL STORM! I was so frustrated!

When I got home I had to read how to make a call. NEVER have I not been able just to call someone from a phone before.

Dad “So how do you like it!!!??!!!”

Me “I HATE this! I don’t know how to work it! This is soooo frustrating!”

Dad “calm down… there is a video on youtube explaining how to use the phone.” (side eye… this phone is doing the most! Now, you know it’s complicated if there is an instructional video!) I feel so bad. My friend Ant is the first number in my phone… I kept calling her by accident! LOL. (sorry gurl!)

I watched the video and emailed my friend Arion from my laptop (cause I could not figure out how to text her or call her) who has a Storm.

Me “Why is there a $3 extra charge to use voicemail?”

Arion “HAHAHA that’s for visual voicemail.”

Me “WTF is that! I just need to retrieve my messages!”

I finally figured out the phone and called my dad the next morning.

Me “I’m getting the hang of it.”

Dad “I told you. It’s pretty cool. We’ve never had the same phone.”

Me “Yup, I’m stuntin like my daddy!”

Dad “Fo Sho!”

Me “Allllllready!”

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