The other night I covered an event that was pretty much a bust. No big time celebs worth talking to. As I was putting my recorder away a random Joan Rivers looking woman tapped me on the shoulder.
Woman “I love your glasses!” (I had my Jay-z steez in full effect). I think I know you… aren’t you a reporter?”
Sigh… what gave that away? The recorder and notepad in my hand? (side-eye)
Me “Thank you. Yes I am.”
Woman “I am a celebrity dog trainer. I have been on many shows.” (she named a bunch I had never heard of). “Would you like for me to talk about Obama’s new dog!”
Well, if she had inside info on the first pooch… this night would not be a total bust.
Me (holding recorder to her mouth) “So, what can you tell me about dog Obama?”
Woman “I think he should name the dog CHANGE! We sure do need one and that name would be appropriate!” (insert cricket chirps!)
Me “Ummm…. Is that all you have to offer. Do you know anything else about the dog? Besides that it is a rescue Portuguese Water dog?”
Woman “It is SO wonderful that they are giving a wonderful home to a rescue dog! If the dog is not named Change… Alec Balwin told me they should name it Surplus! We sure need a SURPLUS!!!” (insert even MORE crickets)
Me “The NBC 30 Rock star told you this personally?”
Woman (taking a big swig of her drink) “But of course! I am a celebrity dog trainer!”
Me “What celebrity pups have you trained?”
Woman “That is confidential! But the quotes I gave you would be GREAT for your publication.”
GAME OVER. I’m mad I even entertained that CRAP. That was not funny to me yesterday… but today for some reason I am ROLLIN about that! Complete waste of my battery!
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