I Want to Work for Diddy!

(was it just me.... or did anyone else notice he was rocking sean john clothing in "raisin in the sun"...)

Last February I applied to a blind job on Media Bistro. The position was to be an assistant to Sean Combs. We were to write an essay as to why we would be an excellent assistant, attach a resume and picture, and scan in any reference letters we might have had. 3 days later I received an email informing me that I had made round one cuts to audition for the Vh1 reality show: I WANT TO WORK FOR DIDDY.


I was TOO excited and began calling all of my friends! Work for Diddy??!!! I walked passed Bad Boy almost every day and often times my friends would catch me starring at his gigantic billboard in Times Square. You can say what you want about Diddy, but that man is one of the best business savvy people in the business… and to just be around that is an opportunity I could never refuse.

I received a call form Vh1 casting detailing the information.

Casting “Hi Jessica! Are you excited!”

Me “You have NO idea!”

Casting “Your essay was very entertaining. Iowa huh?”

Me “That’s right!”

Casting “Great! Well we will be giving you an on camera interview this Thursday at 2pm sharp. Come to the 10th floor at 36th and 6th. Wear interview attire bring any clips or anything you would want us to pass along to Sean Combs. This will be treated like a real job interview.”

That night I had a dream that I was on the show. I was wearing IOWA shirts during my confessionals and dominating the competition. When we were asked to go to Brooklyn to retrieve cheesecake… I SPRINTED the whole way there and back. I was calling my friend Richelle from the house phone so the world would see her name appear in the “on the phone with” caption. I won the competition and was poppin bottles with Diddy in VIP… then Oprah walked in and asked me to work for her… and she became my mentor. OH WHAT A DREAM!

The next day I was crazy nervous. I walked in and they took a Polaroid of me. My first step was to talk to a Vh1 dude in an office.

Vh1 “So I’m going to talk to you for a little bit first… and if this goes well you will do an on camera interview for Sean Combs.” (I see we weren’t to call him Diddy)

Me “Sounds good.”

Vh1 “Now this show is to really find him someone who would make an excellent assistant. We are not about putting you in a house with 7 strippers or anything like that.”

Me “You mean to tell me this is not the audition for Flav of Love? Aw Man! I really wanted Flav to give me the honor by changing my name! ”

Vh1 “I see you have a personality… Great!” (he proceeds to write something down)

We talked for a while about my goals and experience. I was okayed to do the on camera interview.

I was led into a cold room where there was nothing in it but 2 folding chairs and a camera.

The interview was pretty regular. They made me look into the camera and tell Diddy why I wanted to work for him. I took off on this two min rant about how he crafted my belief system.

Me “Sean Combs, you stress to your artists that there is always someone coming to take your place. You are the reason I don’t sleep! I can sleep when I’m dead! Nothing comes to a sleeping man but a dream and I would rather be up working towards and getting mine than laying around thinking about it……….” (if you know me…. You know I BE KNOCKED OUT!... but I’d say anything to work for Puff)

That night I was called and was told I made it to round two! I went back to the same location the next day. This time…. the questions were weird.

Vh1 “Would you walk to Brooklyn for cheesecake?”

Me “I’d RUN to Brooklyn and assist in making the cheesecake myself!” (go hard or go home)

Vh1 (laughing) “So I take it you would do it. It blows my mind when people on his shows complain about that… this is an opportunity we are talking about!”

Me “I know right…. That’s why I run to Brooklyn and back everyday for my workout.”

Vh1 “REALLY?”

Me “No way… let’s not get carried away here.”

Vh1 “So tell me about your family and up bringing”

Me “I have the most loving and supportive family in the world! They would do anything for me. I’m just blessed to have the parents that I do.”

Vh1 “So you have the perfect family?”

Me “As perfect as they come!” (I really do feel this way…. Besides… I’m not about to blast my fam to get on TV)

Vh1 “Are you single?”

Me “As in unmarried… yes.”

Vh1 “I sense a bit of a player….” (mission accomplished… I can come off as prude so I had to say something that would give me a little edge)

Vh1 “Tell me something interesting about yourself that we have not talked about yet.”

This was hard because I had already given these people my life story.

Me “I breed iguanas”

Vh1 “Wow.... that’s different.”

Me “I know!”

Vh1 “Do you sell them…..?”

Me “I don’t breed iguanas… I just could not think of anything else to say.”

I was asked a few more questions and with that I was sent on my way. A friend of a friend was a production assistant for the show…. So I was aware I was not selected… but Vh1 never called to tell me that. I was disappointed, but after watching the show… they didn’t really want smart people anyway.