NoSpace

You know that saying curiosity killed the cat… if I were a cat… I would be DEAD… or at least one of my nine lives would be gone.

So a home girl from back in the day hit me up recently on facebook and said she had been looking for me forever on myspace. When I told her I was not on there… she explained that EVERYONE was and that it is good for “networking”. I decided to create a page. Then I realized something… most of my friends on myspace were my same friends on facebook… what was the point of this? That’s when I decided to play detective and look up people I went to high school with.

WOW. I saw it all. Girls who now strip, people frontin all extra hard like they are thugs in a music video… pulling all of their money out of the bank so they could pose with it. Pure foolishness!

I found out my ex has a baby… different baby moms than the 1st. Her name is Mz. Bitch… her blonde hair looks like she washes it with “Let’s Jam” she is on myspace for “Networking.” (side eye) she had a count down on her page to when she gets her license back. It gets worse. You know how people feel the need to post their ultra sound pics on facebook? (I DETEST THIS!) This chick (age 31 who lives on “shot gun alley” and works at Apple Bees) put the C SECTION pics on her page! GROSS. In her blog entries she has talking a lot of ish. The ones where she puts A.C. on blast are my personal favorite… but the one where she took the baby to get “a line up”…. HEFFA JUST SAY HAIRCUT!!!! You are NOT down just because you learned some terminology. HAHA I was entertained for about 2 hours.

I was having a blast being noisy! All this juicy gossip for me to see! That’s when I got an email saying that I had received a message from someone named Lee. I logged onto myspace to check it. AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

There she was… a big beastly Queen La in Set It OFF looking “female” telling me that I was fine and that she would like to get to know me better. She included her personal email address….. ummm…. FALSE!

I have been Virtually VIOLATED!!!!!!!!!! I quickly tried to close my account, but myspace makes this hard to do. All these pop ups appeared asking me as to why I wanted to close my account. Then more pop ups explaining how I can change my settings. I declined it all! I closed the account and then received an email saying it may take up to 48 hours for this process to be complete. My friends have all been laughing at me.. saying “You deserved what you got” really? I deserve the shame of being sexually assaulted via the internet! YALL AINT RIGHT!

I’ve learned my lesson. I will no longer try to snoop in the business of the myspace folks… I’ll just stick to being in the business of my 800 and sum “friends” on facebook.

On another note. I was thinking. I need my own show “J Wils Road to Redemption”. TI takes the typical shock approach… showing wanna bees the consequences to their actions by visiting prisons and cemeteries for a few min. I want to make my subjects live the experience. I would go to small cities like Des Moines and gather girls who think it’s cute to be “loose”. I would actually bring them to New York and give them a Harlem pimp and put them to work for the night. For all the “thugs”… I would take them to Compton and make them participate in an actual gang initiation. WHAT FUN! That show would never air though… too much liability for the network. If you REALLY think about it… that mess would be too funny.